An exciting day...

Yesterday was an exciting day for little Jace! He had a few firsts....His first first was rolling from his back to his tummy! I have had a head cold for the last few days so I'm not feeling the best and I decided to let him play on his play mat while I took a hot bath! Good parenting I know, but you do what you have to do! So anyways...he was happily playing on this back with this friend the octopus and I was happily enjoying a peaceful bath when out of no where he started screaming like he was being killed. I hopped out of the tub and found him on his tummy! He was so mad! I of course was so excited that he did something new! I calmed him down and decided to put him back on his tummy to see if he would roll on to his back. Now he has done this several times before, but I'm not sure how intentional it was and he hasn't done it in about 2-3 weeks. Well this time he was trying very hard to get over onto his back and he did it! I started cheering and he started fussing because I think it scared him. I wish I had my camera because the look on his face when he made it over was priceless! So now that he is starting to roll he can't be trusted! Ahh the first steps to mobility!

We also decided to try solid food yesterday for the first time! It was a funny experience! After trying again tonight...I'm not sure if he just doesn't like the taste or texture of the new food or is we just aren't quite ready for this step yet! Here are some pics that show Jace's first time with rice cereal and bananas!

Jace ready for his first bite! Looking a little concerned about what is going to happen!




The first bite...


Trying to decide if he likes it or not


Taking another bite


And spitting it out



We are still trying to figure out this eating thing!

Fingers crossed!

My first night back to work was a success! So much so that I think I will go back for a few more! Both Jace and Daddy did fabulous! It makes me sad and happy to know they can survive without me! It turns out checking a cervix is like riding a bike but charting isn't! I fumbled through charting all night. I was happy that I got my first IV stick after 3 months with no problem! My patient was happy as well! My first night was busy and I think that was a blessing to both me and Ben...I didn't have time to text him every hour to see how they were doing!

I cried all the way to work =( Who knew your vagina was linked to your tear ducts! Seriously. Now that I'm a mom it hurts me having my baby away from me! I never thought it would be that way, but it is and I wouldn't change a thing! I think this quote from my friend Chelsea's facebook page definitely holds true for me...."In becoming a mom, I've lost my mind, but found my heart and soul!" Thanks Chels!

Throw me a fricking bone!

So the saying goes that God doesn't give you any more than you can handle. Well God must have more faith in me than I have in myself at this point. So Jace has been sick for about 3 days now...his first cold. He was fevering, and coughing, and generally just hasn't been feeling well. Being I'm a first time mom I called his doctor yesterday to see if I needed to bring him in and he told me just to watch him for a couple of days. Well I called today to get a prescription filled for me and I told the nurse that after Jace would cough, he would cry in pain. She told me to bring him in. Well I'm so thankful I made that call because as it turns out my poor little baby has a pneumonia! We started an antibiotic and I'm praying that will help him feel better.

Ben is still having fevers and feeling like crap. He keeps telling me he is capable of taking care of Jace because I go back to work tomorrow night! If both of my babies were healthy I would be dreading going back to work, but having them both sick is absolutely stressful! Luckily my mom is willing to help out, but I don't know if Ben will call her. I know Ben is a great dad and Jace will be just fine with him! It just is scary leaving my baby overnight! I mean I cried when I put him in his crib downstairs for part of the night!

On a good note...it seems that the prevacid and nutramigen seem to be working! Jace has hardly been puking at all! Hopefully the pneumonia will pass quickly and without too much more pain for my baby! We also have an appointment with infectious disease specialist next week and hopefully things will get figured out with Ben.

I'm slowing down and breathing. I know I have lots of prayers and support coming my my and it is all appreciated! Wish me luck! I'm hoping checking a cervix is like riding a bike and I will still know what to do when it comes to work tomorrow!

3 Days of craziness!

So the last 3 days have been crazy, but great at the same time. There has just been a lot going on.

First off Saturday was girls night! Yay. Jamie and I threw one of our co-workers, Cralene, a Bachelorette Party! It was a much needed night away from my husband and baby (though I do love them dearly). Ben gave me a nice surprise and took Jace for the entire day! So starting at noon I had some freedom. I spent the day running some last minute party errands and then went to my cousin's salon to get waxed and my hair styled. After leaving there I was feeling like one sexy mama! I even bought myself a new shirt and bra. We started off the night at La Fiesta for dinner. There we adorned Cralene in her attire for the night which included a bachelorette sash, wand, and penis tiara! Oh and we made her drink from a penis straw all night! We then came back to my house for an adult novelty party. We also enjoyed penis cake and chocolate covered strawberries, as well as, drinks! There were lots of laughs and dirty talk. Just what I needed. I also stocked up on few choice products for my love and me! No further details needed! One of the things that made the night so fun was how embarrassed Cralene was! She definitely had a good time though and was able to get everything on her "wish list". Sorry no pictures...Ben stole the camera for his day out with Jace =(

The next day was Father's Day. We went out to BBQ with Ben's family. We played Rock Band and had a lot of fun. It was awesome to celebrate with Ben. He is such a good dad to Jace. I have so enjoyed watching him as a dad. He really excels in that department. He is really patient and loving and excited to be a dad.

Waking up daddy on Father's Day



Sunday would have also been my little brother RJ's 23 birthday. It feels weird that he is gone, but he is definitely not forgotten. Whenever we get to his birthday it I always take a minute to think of what kind of man he would be now! 23 seems weird to think about for some reason. I guess because knowing how he was at 23 he would have probably been married and maybe a daddy himself! It is weird and sad to think about all at once.

And today is my little brother Aaron's 22nd birthday! Happy Birthday Brother. I hope you had an amazing day. I'm so proud of him. He was grown up to be quite the man. He has a beautiful wife and is living a life he should be proud of. I miss him because he is so far away, but I know he is where he needs to be.

Also today/last night Jace had developed his first cold. He spent a lot of the night coughing. He wasn't even phased by the coughing but it sure kept me up! Today I'm tired and he has been cranky! Oh well, the joys of motherhood I suppose! And on another note I start work on Thursday! I'm so not ready!

Things are looking up!

Today was a wonderful day. Less puke, less clingyness, less fevers/more fevers but over all very good. So we seem to be on the right track with Jace. He is taking prevacid everyday and is eating Nutramigen formula. And thanks to a friend who has gone through this before me, I have started him on probiotics. He gets one bottle per day with 1/2 capsule of probiotics and by golly I think it may be working! The last few days Jace has just wanted to be held but today he is letting us put him down without too much hassle. Ben is doing a little better it seems...he is up an down and all over the place but today was a little better! Jace started running a fever but nothing a little Tylenol couldn't fix!

Last night was wonderful as well! Jace went to sleep about 10:30 slept until 4 am, woke up to eat and get a diaper change and then went back to sleep until 8 am! I think we may be close to sleeping through the night! I spent my day shopping and making penis shaped things for my friends bachelorette party tomorrow! I'm so excited. Ben is taking Jace to hang out for awhile and I get a girls night. No worrying about my husband or kid...just dirty talk and laughs with the girls. I think it is just what I need to recharge my batteries before I go back to work on Thursday =( I will post pics and stories about the girls night soon!

Gratitude List

I'm sitting in Jace's room in my grandma's rocker trying to be grateful for this life I'm blessed with. Jace has had a rough day today...not puking, but just very clingy. He is now in his crib watching his mobile cooing away. So I decided that today I'm going to make a list of things I'm grateful for to help remind me that I really am blessed!

1) I'm grateful for my husband. He is my best friend and an awesome dad. Even though he is sick he is still doing his best to support his family. He is patient and kind and loves me more than he reasonably should! I love you baby!

2) I'm grateful for my son. My beautiful son that we tried 18 months to conceive. He loves me unconditionally and makes me smile every day. He has only been in our lives for 3 short months, but I can't imagine our lives with out him. Jace, baby, you really are the light of my life and I'm sorry when I'm short with you! You don't deserve it and thanks for loving me in spite of it.

3) I'm grateful for my friends. I have heard so many kind words since yesterday's blog. You guys never cease to amaze me! Know that you are loved and appreciated.


4) I'm grateful for my family. All their support is very needed.

5) I'm grateful for my job. Even though I don't feel ready to go back, I'm so happy I work in place a love. Most of my co-workers have become my friends and a few have even become like family!

6) I'm grateful for nutramigen and prevacid! I think we may have found the winning combination.

7) I'm grateful that I can afford nutramigen and prevacid.

8) I'm grateful that we have an appointment set with the infectious disease specialist!

9) I'm grateful for all the prayers and good thoughts we are receiving on a daily basis. Keep them coming please I don't think we're out of need for them.

10) I'm grateful for the nice weather today! Finally some much needed sunshine.

11) Finally I'm grateful for this blog. A place where I can come and put my feelings into words and feel worth while as I'm doing it. This is more cathartic than I thought it might be!

Rantings of a Wife and Mother (Beware Long Blog Ahead)

When I started my blog it was with the intent to share with friends and family the things that were going on my life. I thought it might be an enjoyable and cathartic way to vent some of my feelings every now and then. Today is one of those days!

Lately I have been feeling very overwhelmed with being a wife and a mother! The thought has crossed my mind several times in the last 2 weeks "who the heck signed me up for this!" Then like a slap in the face I realize that I signed myself up for these things! Most times I love being both a wife and a mom, but life has thrown us some curves lately!

As many of you already know, Ben had back surgery in May and since then has had some sort of post op infection that the doctors have no idea where it is coming from. He has been getting night fevers, chills, loss of appetite, and increased pain for some time now. Really my frustration has been building since he blew out his disc in February. Do to pain and lack of mobility Ben hasn't been the same man I married almost 5 years ago. We haven't had fun like we used to and it has taken it's toll on both of us. We are a committed couple, and I know we can get through anything together. I really think part of my frustration now is all my emotions from his surgery and hospital stay are starting to hit me. Ben almost died...my husband, my best friend, the father of my beautiful baby almost died. He got over dosed on narcotics and almost stopped breathing. I don't think I have fully processed that! And now he has some sort of infection that isn't getting better and no one can figure out where it is coming from. He isn't out of the woods yet, and I'm scared. He has felt better the last couple of days, but we have been here before. We are getting referred up to Boise to an infectious disease specialist who can hopefully figure out where this infection is and get it taken care of! I am cautiously optimistic that this doctor may have the answers we need and Ben can get to feeling like himself again. In the mean time, Ben is being a trooper and helping with the house and the baby as much as he can. And I'm lucky that most of the time it is more than a lot of men help when they are healthy! I just love him so much want him feeling well again.

If all this wasn't enough to deal with we have Jace! 12 weeks old and getting bigger. He has his own problem though...the poor kid can't eat anything. He refused to breast feed so that is out and after going to Florida and having no schedule I have dried up. Next regular formula...no go! The poor kid would eat and scream for 1-3 hours strait! His tummy was so upset and there was nothing we could do for him. So on to lacto-free formula...again no go! We had similar results maybe a little less severe than regular formula, but he was definitely not happy. So we figured out he has a milk allergy that he will hopefully grow out of. Our next option was soy formula...Very hopeful that this could be the answer he did well on it for awhile. He was still spitting up like he was before, but he was happy. Slowly he started spitting up more and more and developing a rash on his head. After further research it appears the may have a sensitivity to soy! Are you kidding me! On to Similac Alimentum~ $25 a can. Great! Oh what this is a no go as well! The poor kid was refluxing like a crazy person. Almost every time he would spit up he would scream in pain. We finally went to the doctor and he got put on Prevacid. The doctor said if the prevacid seemed to be working we should put him back on a formula like Similac Sensitive. Well we tried that and it was puke city! He only had one bottle of that and I think he threw the entire thing up. Our last resort is nutramigen! So we started that last night and so far we have had no puke! Again I'm cautiously optimistic that this may be the answer! We also tried to switch bottles on him and he wasn't having that whatsoever!

Now I think I could deal with one or the other of these problems, but both is overwhelming me! I feel guilty when I have feelings like leaving Jace with Ben and getting the hell out of Dodge for a few days. I just want someone to take care of me for a little bit! Ben wishes he could and feels guilty over being sick and I hate that he feels that way. To top it off I start back to work in 2 weeks and that will only make life more complicated!

Maybe tomorrow I will write a gratitude list...today it just feels good to vent and be heard. Thanks all for sticking by me...your support is greatly needed and greatly appreciated!

Missouri Trip

Well we made it safe and sound to Missouri! This was Jace's second plane trip and I must say the first one was much easier! This time around I'm traveling by myself. Jace has done excellent. We started our trip by driving down to the Salt Lake City airport. Jace slept most of the trip and I entertained myself by listening to New Kids and singing aloud! Let me just say I'm very surprised he slept most of the trip! By the time we got to the airport he was done being in his car seat and I couldn't really blame him. We got all checked in and cleaned up and arrived at security. Now let me just tell you I'm not really impressed with the security staff at this airport. It is just me and Jace...I have a diaper bag, purse, computer case, carseat/stroller combo and Jace....not to mention I had to take off my belt, my shoes, take liquids out etc. I'm standing there waiting for what to do next and the security officer tells me that the car seat and stroller need to go through xray...okay that's fine and dandy, but did anybody help me break it down and lift it on the thingy....NOPE...3 officers watched me do it one handed because I was holding Jace in the other! Real nice....it makes me grateful it was easy to break down and that I have started to get a mom arm and was able to lift it! A lady guard at the other end helped me get everything off and to another table so I could take my time getting myself and Jace back together!

The flight itself was uneventful.. Jace slept most of the time and didn't cry at all so that was nice.

Jace meeting his Great Grandma Pat (he's the first great grand baby)


Jace meeting cousin Brittney (her first time feeding a baby)


Jace meeting cousin Cassidy


Group pic (4 generations)


So far we have had a pretty good trip. We are here until Wednesday and hope the return trip goes smoothly. We are definitely missing daddy and almost ready to be home.