Memorial Day

Memorial Day is a time to remember those who have passed on...for me this is no different. I found myself thinking a lot about my brother RJ this weekend. Ben, Jace and I took flowers out to his grave on Saturday. This was Jace's first trip out there. He was quite annoyed that we got him out of the car in the wind, but I felt it was important for us as a family to pay our respects to RJ.

I know this sounds weird, but I believe him and Jace have a connection some how. When I was pregnant with Jace, about 8 weeks I think, I had a dream about RJ. In the dream, he was dying and I was saying my good byes. I told him I was pregnant and he told me he already knew. I asked that in return for "letting him go" he would make sure Jace got here safely. He told me I had nothing to worry about and that "of course I will help him get there." I woke up from that dream in tears, but from that point on I never worried that Jace wasn't going to make it here safe and sound. I have no doubt that RJ and I'm sure my Grandma Bobbie helped Jace make his transition over to this world. Jace was born on March 21st, the 4th anniversary of RJ's passing, at 11:55 pm.

I feel gratitude towards my brother. I do have some sad feelings that he and my grams aren't here physically to enjoy my son and see me being a mom. I really miss advice that my grandma would have had for me. I know she would have really loved Jace. I'm not really sure what RJ would have thought of him, but I'm sure he would have liked having him around.

We celebrated Memorial Day by having a BBQ with our friends and family. My best friend Shauna came down from Boise and got to meet Jace for the first time. He was kind of a grump today, but that is life I suppose =) He is now sleeping next to me cuddling with Daddy. I'm so grateful for my life right now.

PS~Just a quick thanks to all the men and women who have or are currently serving our country. You really are heros!